I’ve spent my fair share of time clicking around in cyber-world looking at other people’s blogs.  One thing that surprises me is the amount of blogs out there  that are written by mothers.  Of course, there are the typical “show off your kid/keep family updated” blogs, but there are also many interesting blogs that showcase lots of talent.  I like reading, commenting, and gathering information from these people.  Blogs can be very inspiring.

Tonight I’m having trouble going to sleep, so I’m writing in the hopes of emptying out some of the noise in my head.  As I lay in bed, I realized I am feeling a little lonely.  This does not really come as a surprise.  Before I had Caleb, a colleague encouraged me to join a Mom’s club because she described mothering as an “isolating” job.  Let’s face it, it is.  All day long you are caring for your child(ren).  Sometimes this involves other people, but mostly it is mom+kid(s).  Then, in the evening, when kids go to bed, you are free…kind of.  You could hang with your husband.  It’s a definite blessing to be married.  But sometimes he’s had a long day at work and would rather do his own thing.  Not a problem, but you are still confined to your home.  It’s not like you can go anywhere with little kids sleeping upstairs.  So what to do?  Ah, yes, the internet.  Such bounty awaits you.

I wonder if there are so many “mommy bloggers” because we are lonely.  We put ourselves out there for the world to see, hoping we will find a friend.  Sometimes I get so excited when I get a notification saying someone has commented on my blog.   Reading someone’s blog is like reading their journal.  I feel like I know people so well because I read about their life, when in reality I may have never even met them!  Wouldn’t you get to know someone pretty well if you just read their journal all the time?  Don’t get me wrong, I think the internet is great,  but it still leaves much to be desired.  Even cyber-friends aren’t as good as the real thing.  I’d probably be the last person who’d ask for one, but they can’t give you hugs.

What I need to do now is call a friend.  A real-in-my-life-friend, and set up lunch, or a play date, or whatever.  Initiate.  I’m realizing that initiating makes good friends better friends.  It’s a challenge but it’s good for me to do.

If you’re reading this, I want you to know that I did not write this post for anyone to feel sorry for me, or make anyone feel bad, or manipulate anyone into doing anything for me.  That wouldn’t be fair.  But along with my observation about why some people blog, I’m also realizing that my mind works best when I’m supposed to be falling asleep.  I’m sort of in this post newlywed phase with my post-a-week thing.   It’s not (I’m not) all exciting and new anymore, so I’m figuring out how to keep my writing going.  Trying not to get stale.  Perhaps not to feel alone.  Sometimes to show off my kid.  And maybe just to help me go to sleep.  Goodnight.

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