My whole life I have struggled with doubt; I get so uncomfortable from it.  One of my greatest struggles is my ability to perform-or at least to perform at an acceptable level.  I doubt my abilities. It doesn’t logically make sense, since most of my life I have enjoyed a reasonable amount of success.  Why do I find myself with a lack of confidence in what I can do?  I think I am often insecure in who I am, and I find myself timid and hesitant when I should move forward with confidence.

I also struggle with doubting the truth written in the Bible.  Sometimes I feel so sure, and then other times, when I haven’t been a “good Christian”, I doubt my salvation or I doubt that God could still love me.  To be honest, sometimes I think what the Bible says about Jesus is too good to be true.  I mean, could it be possible that there is a God that anyone can know (John 3:16), who will forgive all my sins (Psalm 32:5), who can give me life (John 14:6 and 20:31), who says that nothing can separate me from his love (Romans 8:38-39), and who says He will always be with me (Hebrews 13:5 and Matthew 28:20)?  I don’t know why I doubt all this, because the Bible says He never lies (Numbers 23:19).

Last night I journaled these words to Jesus: “I want to ask where are you?…Can I see you tomorrow?  I want to know where you are.  You’ve got to be in more places than just the Bible.  I think you’re with Becky, but will you be with me too?”

This morning as I was checking my email, guess who was on?  Becky.  Over in South Africa.  These were the first words she messaged to me: “Rachael…nothing can seperate you from the LOVE of Christ.”

It literally made me cry.

I often feel like the man in the Bible in  Mark 9:24, who said, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!

Why do I still doubt?

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